How to Get Along with Your Sister (Part One)

[cooking for friends recently]

Ibs & I are the best of friends. Always have been. I was five years old when she was born, and the only hard part for me was having the patience to wait until she got old enough to really play with. Over the past sixteen years Ibs and I have grown closer and closer until by now, we’re pretty sure we ought to have been twins. :) 

No relationship stays strong without work, though, so there has been a lot we’ve had to learn, as we negotiate the ins and outs of friendship. We’re not perfect, but there are definitely some key lessons we’ve learned over the years, that help keep our relationship strong.

Here is Part One of what we have learned (Note: these were compiled by both of us).

1. Don't compare with your sister. Or with anyone else, for that matter. It is FAR more enjoyable in the long run to be happy for each other and celebrate the good things she’s getting. Life is not always fair, but your turn will come. Even if she gets the super nice article of clothing you’ve always wanted… or her skin is perfect… or she gets to go on a fun trip… If you are always comparing your life to someone else’s, yours will just never look quite good enough. And that breeds a problematic cycle of covetousness. Learn to be happy for your sister, and be thankful for what you’ve got!

2. Always think the best. Never allow a negative outlook to form in your head, or think pessimistic thoughts about your sister. If she’s got a character gap or something that needs to be changed, sit down and have a nice talk with her, and together work out what you want your relationship to look like; don’t harbor frustrations or negative feelings without expressing them in a productive way. Whatever you think in your head will eventually make itself known in your conduct, actions, and words. So make those thoughts good ones.

3. Learn to be selfless. You will need this strength one day to be a cheerful support team to some great guy even when you don’t feel like it… and to take good care of a bunch of little chiddlers even when you’re tired. Now is the time to learn this: for example, being willing to sacrifice your own time to take on extra responsibilities for your sister, just because it’s That Time of Month and she needs some rest. [in my case, this is a good excuse to have Ibs make me some hot chocolate. In her case, well, she can convince me to do any number of things: #1. Make her bed. #2. Do her cleaning jobs. #3. Cook her favorite food for lunch. #4. Rub her back. #5. Tell her a story. #5. Give her dark chocolate. #6. Wash extra dishes. #7. Etc etc etc… (does it sound like my days are busy? Ha. Truth be told, Ibs does TONS of things for me too, and totally takes first prize for best nurse ever. She’s amazing!!)].

 

Stay tuned for more tips coming soon…