Here is an Eastern Red-Spotted Newt. Specifically, a Newt on our kitchen table.

Augs brought this one home from his morning prayer walk, and I was quite pleased! That's because I have a soft spot in my heart for baby Newts. They also make good companions - this one was content to sit by my computer for half an hour and just keep me company, spending most of his time curling and un-curling his tail, watching me type, and exploring his leaf.

After a while we put him out in the garden.

Cute little Red Eft. (that's what he is, technically, still being in the baby stage.) Doesn't he look nice? It's amazing how a Red Eft can brighten one's day!

Kindness to Animals is an Attractive Quality in Men

 

There is this young farmer. 

He is skilled, and confident, and likable, and rugged, and upright; a solid man of God and family and principles. He’s also about as masculine as they come – with a strength that is nothing remotely macho but is the raw, genuine strength that comes from hard work, integrity, and following the straight and narrow path. 

He works long days in the fields and his clothes bear the marks of his labor: running a full-time dairy operation, taking care of the animals, working the land, subduing the earth. 

Unfortunately, he is not available . . . just thought I should clarify . . . :)

Many years ago, our families sat around an evening campfire. We were talking about bow hunting and deer season, quite a topic of interest. And this farming man told us the story of his walk in the woods way back behind their farm, when he had come upon a tiny fawn hidden in the weeds. With his characteristically slow smile, he described its delicate beauty, and how it wasn’t even scared of him. “I knew my sisters just had to see it,” he said, then told of how he’d gently picked up the little creature in his arms, and carried it all the way back to the house to show the rest of the family. 

I got this mental picture sitting there by the fire (I still get the picture every time I think of it) . . . this strong, rugged farmer, tough as the land itself, cradling a baby fawn in his arms. Is there not something very good, something quiet and innocent and deeply attractive about that picture? When my family left the farm, it was with a fresh insight into the heart of this work-toughened, manly guy who was touched by the little things. It’s the attractiveness of a man who regardeth the life of his beast.

But part of what made that story so powerful for us was this: here is a man who truly understands the down-and-dirty, unpleasant and sometimes painful reality of animal husbandry. Animals aren’t just for companionship or cuteness. We use them for work. We use them for food. We have to herd them, brand them, doctor them, kill them. This is not the peaches-and-cream picture of playing fetch with dear old Fido. No, there are many aspects to caring for animals (farming in particular) that aren’t always pretty.

It is attitude that makes all the difference, that separates gentle strength from macho power, that separates husbandry from cruelty. There is a stark contrast between the man who will do the unpleasant task quickly and gently, treating an animal with gratitude and respect as a God-made creature, versus the man who is callous to pain, or quick to anger at unintelligent animals, or who makes sport of the task through enjoyment of violence. (By the way, this also includes the task of killing varmints).

Gentle, God-given strength is not only Biblical, it is far more attractive to a girl like me. It represents a fortitude of character that is on an entirely different level than the guy who is attractive just because he wears a nice baseball cap and hangs his arm out the window of his truck. Although that’s awfully nice, too . . . (just sayin’).

Forward-thinking girls watch to see how a guy – a potential future husband – treats the weaker, more fragile creatures in his life because it is a good indicator of how he will treat his own wife and children in the future. There will come a day when his wife is in a moment of helplessness and needs his strength – perhaps to help her do something unpleasant or unknown, like disciplining a small child or giving birth – and she will rely on that character in him, the gentle yet firm rock on which she can lean. There will also come a day when he needs qualities of tenderness and kindness to care for a little baby. Or two. Or ten . . . Even when he’s tired after a long day of work.

My bottom line? Kindness to animals is a very attractive quality in men. It’s a quality that I respect and admire in the men in my family, and it’s a quality I’m praying for in a future husband.

A Smile for Your Day

Today's thought:

"Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus?"

Happy May!

These are a few pics Augs took either today or yesterday. They make me happy just looking at them, because they remind me of all things sunny and warm and wildlife-y. And anything that is pleasant right now is so very welcome, as I am currently feeling 100% sick.

Being sick makes me think of all the things I am grateful for, which are many. Here are five:

1. I have the best sister in the world, who makes me delicious meals and hot tea.

2. I have finally found a way to consume Bragg's apple cider vinegar (horrible health remedy) in an almost-pleasant way! (psst- the secret is pink lemonade)

3. The sun was shining today.

4. There was a Flicker in our yard this afternoon, attempting to aerate the lawn by poking it repeatedly. They make me smile. Always have ever since I was a kid in California.

5. Spring is here!

Now for a few more bird pictures. I couldn't resist...

Skinny-o.

Fatso.

A dove with blue eyeliner.

Hopefully I feel better tomorrow!

-Ems

Reminds Me of Spring...

I was sorting through some pictures this morning, looking for something completely unrelated to blooming Nasturtiums, but somehow these just looked too good to resist. So here they are, making me think lovingly of Spring soon to come.

No, those are not this year's Nasturtiums.

Yes, we will plant more this year.

Only one more month to go (give or take a year) before garden-planting season! Yay!

And because I am already on a roll with posting unrelated pictures, here is a random look at our used-to-be-homeland:

Can't believe we spent NINE years there! God is amazingly good to us. I am reminded to be thankful for every day He gives us here in this other beautiful place (Vermont). The sun just came out, which makes it even nicer.

Also, I get to eat a German apple pancake for lunch. Yum!

When a Bad Night's Sleep is an Answer to Prayer

I didn't intend to post today, especially not to post about our old and defunct central vacuum. But given that it factored rather large in the events of last night, and given that there was a rather huge answer to prayer, here it is.

For some reason it took me a while to get to sleep last night. Maybe it's because Papa is in California right now, and he's presenting at a church this morning, and he's sick, and we're missing him. So I was awake praying for him.

But I was also awake because I was thinking about house fires (I know, I know, not something you want to think about before bed, right? :), and I was trying to decide what valuables I would grab first, and how we would all escape in time. I don't know why fires were so strongly on my mind, but because they were, I was praying about them.

Unbeknownst to me, Mums was also awake and praying about fires. She too was thinking about them as she tried to get to sleep.

I awoke at 12:30 in the middle of the night, with a prickly fear that told me something was NOT right. I had woken out of a strange dream in which there was a strange noise, going on and on and on... and then I realized that the noise was not in my dream, but in real. In the house.

I sprang out of bed and ran to the boys' room to wake them up. By now I could hear that there was a high-pitched whining scream of something mechanical coming from somewhere downstairs. The guys grabbed their flashlights and we hurried down the stairs and opened the basement door. The noise (which was steadily increasing in intensity) was coming from somewhere down in the basement...

At that point we realized that our old central vacuum unit, located under the basement stairs, was roaring full-blast and sucking away powerfully against itself (if the hose isn't connected to the vacuum via one of the wall outlets, then the unit doesn't get any air). The sound was super loud and not a little scary, heard in the dark of night in the basement. Augs ran to the furnace room and found the applicable breaker, and as soon as he flipped it, the vacuum noise finally died away to silence.

Then we investigated what in the world was going on. A word about our central vacuum... it is very old, and very dead - has been ever since we first rented this home. I LOVE central vacuums when they work (saves so much effort!), but sadly, this one has seen better days. The main unit downstairs gets super hot and makes loud dying noises whenever you switch it on, and the hose upstairs, which is supposed to be vacuuming industriously, only sighs weakly and spits out dust. So... we don't use the thing at all.

But for some mysterious reason, it turned itself on last night. I have no idea how long it was going, but if I had not woken up and heard it when I did, we probably would have had a house fire. Which would not have been pretty, because the unit is in a small, closed room two floors below where we sleep; also, we use that room as a storage compartment for really good fire-starters like bags of fabric scraps and cardboard boxes of craft supplies. It could have been a very, very bad situation.

By the time we got to the vacuum, it was dangerously hot, so hot we couldn't touch the motor. It was also exuding smelly fumes. In the end, the boys disconnected the wires and actually brought the entire motor section upstairs where it could reside safely in their room as it cooled down. We went back to bed not a little shaken, trying not to think of what could so easily have happened.

Prayer - what an incredible gift. God answered our prayers last night, and as a result, I'm still sitting at our kitchen table, in our intact home, our lives undamaged. It could have all been gone last night - that fast. But it's here, we're here, and I'm grateful. God is SO GOOD!!

Wishing y'all a prayer-filled day and NO fires, :)

Ems

The Boy-Crazy Quiz for Single Girls: Part 2

Question 2: Are Boys Your Number-One Favorite Topic of Conversation with Your Friends?

The “Nun”:

Her answer is “no” – boys are not her number one favorite topic of conversation with her friends or family.

She genuinely is not interested marriage, ever. She feels strongly that she is one of the few who are called to a celibate life, and is certain that God has not created her for the role of wife and mother to children. Hence, marriage is not on her mind (lifetime celibacy is a Scripturally viable option).

The only reason she would enjoy talking about guys is to help her friends and those she mentors. Though she does not desire marriage, she recognizes it as a God-given desire for most women and she wants to help them fulfill their calling.

The Independent Girl:

Her answer is also “no.” She is too busy with her full life and her big plans (that don’t include a man any time soon).

She may or may not enjoy talking about her friends’ guy-girl relationships, though she generally doesn’t feel any need for a guy herself. She may also be critical of those who she sees as caving in to idle talk about something over which they have no control (i.e. marriage and how to prepare). She feels that she has the greatest amount of control in her capable self when she can keep guys at a distance.

She sees relationship talk of any kind as a distraction and has little respect for girls or guys who discuss such things. Often, this type of girl has been hurt or abused in some way by a guy, has witnessed too many bad courtships/marriages, or has tired of uber-dependent boy-obsessed girls who seem desperate to get married as if all their immaturity will disappear with marriage.

Boys are certainly not one of her favorite conversation topics, though she would be interested in getting married and having children someday.

The Lazy “Boy-Crazy” Girl:

Yes, yes, yes! She loves to talk about guys! She wants a guy more than anything else and she feels empty without one. 

She is not above seducing guys by flirting or manipulating their hearts. And she struggles with contentment and security in her current relationship, because she is only satisfied when the relationship is moving toward romance… hence she initiates physical affection before a guy may be ready to commit, and uses physical touch as a way to get him past any doubts he feels. She is romantic and sensual before fully analyzing whether they are a good match. 

She is impatient to get to marriage, and manufactures in her mind greater suitability than actually exists. She talks so much about every passing look he gives her and every word he speaks that she actually begins to believe he likes her more than he does. She is prone to major emotional swings based on what he said or did (or didn’t say or didn’t do). 

She is too lazy or insecure to analyze either what is really happening between them or whether she is the right one for him. She wants a guy so badly, she doesn’t want to face the facts or work through an in-depth analysis. If someone questions his suitability, she acts wounded, and/or critiques the one who questions her choice of a guy.

She wants a husband in her own way and in her own timing: i.e. Now!

Marriage-Preparing Girl:

 [Note: if you’re already completely prepared for marriage, with the “prepping” or “learning” stage behind you, feel free to skip this section :)]

Getting back to the question, “Are boys your number one favorite topic of conversation with your friends?”

The Marriage-Preparing girl answers this question: No. And Yes.

No to this specific question, because it denotes an imbalance, in the use of the words “number one favorite topic.” And for most girls, random or light banter with their friends is rarely conducive to productive guy-related discussions.

But Yes to a balanced form of this question, rephrased: “Are boys one of your favorite topics of conversation with your family?”

Girls who are adequately and enthusiastically prepping for marriage know the importance of learning everything they can about guys – how they think, how they act, how they want to be shown respect, how to peacefully resolve conflict with them, what they value, and how to love them. Yes, even how to love them… if all of this came naturally, without hard work, there would be no need for Bible verses and “Love and Respect” seminars that teach married women how to respond to their men. Adequately prepped girls also recognize that marriage will not solve all their problems, and neither should it be the end-all goal of their lives.

Should girls talk ONLY about guys?

Definitely not! Girls who are adequately prepping for marriage have full, rich lives with a whole lot more to talk about than just guys. These girls delight in talking about marriage and how to be ready for a guy, but are mature enough to keep balance in their conversations and to not allow one topic to dominate.

And she strives to include at least one married person in her conversations about guys and marriage. We singles simply don’t have the same perspective about married life that those in the midst of it have. :)

Every girl who wants to get married should talk about guys in a healthy way.

This is how she learns. By a healthy way, I mean constructive, productive, God-honoring conversations that seek to promote growth and preparation, not ooey-gooey giggles over how handsome Joe Blow is. The preparing girl processes what to look for in a guy, why to look for those qualities, and what her dealbreakers are. And do you have one or more brothers? They are some of your best resources for learning how to positively relate to guys! 

Most of us recognize that making the right choice of a husband doesn’t come naturally… if it did, the happiness rate for Christian marriages would be far higher. 

Every marriage-preparing girl spends more time developing in herself the character strengths she’s looking for in a guy than she does talking about the guy himself.

Like qualities attract. So if a girl is looking for a guy who is spiritually-minded, or humble, or capable, or funny, she would do well to develop those qualities in her own character & personality.

She doesn’t lose her appetite for marriage when a guy doesn’t seem interested – she continues to show respect for all men, and seeks to understand men and her future role long before marriage.

She can watch (and enjoy) a film or book with an appropriate, God-honoring romance in it without feeling discouraged that she doesn’t have a guy or using it as fodder for daydreams about her own romance with a knight on a white horse. 

Her trust is totally in God.

She is confident, competent, and capable, AND she desires an equally strong and godly man for marriage. She is patient. The learning process about her own needs and about a guy’s needs is long and intense, and she enjoys every bit of it.

 

And somewhere in the process of learning about gender roles and facing personal gaps and seeking advice… somewhere in all that talking and practicing, she grows into the beautiful woman who will attract a quality guy.

Let’s be that woman.