Do You Respect Your Man?

I sat down the other day to read what I thought was going to be an interesting article on guy-girl relationships. I hoped it would be thought-provoking and helpful, something that would really make me think, or that would teach me something new. Instead, I walked away feeling very disappointed that the author of the article would, especially in her position of influence, write as though the true meaning of the word "Respect" had never made it into her vocabulary. She clearly loves her husband, but she doesn't clearly respect him.

Belittling and condescension, even under the guise of humor, or framed with loving comments, do not build up a man. It may be funny to tell stories about the mistakes your guy has made, or how poufy his hair was when you met him,or how he botched the courtship (and how you came to his rescue and got him to ask you to marry him).

But genuine respect publicly celebrates stories of his successes, not his lacks compared with your ability to do things better. What would happen to your relationship with him if you told stories instead about what most impressed you about his character that day you first met him, the kind way he treated your little siblings, or his think-big vision that you love about him?

And girls, all of this applies to father-daughter and brother-sister relationships too! I don't have a husband yet, but I'm practicing on the men in my life right now, and I hope you are too.

There are several problems that arise out of disrespect:

#1. Disrespect of him puts us on a pedestal. I was in the right, I had to help him, I taught him that important skill. You may be thinking to yourself right now, "Yes, but I did teach him all those things! Without me, he wouldn't be where he is now." A mature girl enjoys his success, and celebrates with him, regardless of the magnitude of her part in it. The saying, "Behind every great man is (often) a great woman" is a far more satisfying sentiment than "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." (Jim Carrey)

#2. Disrespect is unbiblical. "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." (Ephesians 5:33) You get the idea.

 #3. Disrespect of guys is not attractive in a girl. Trust me. I have three eligible brothers. :) A guy is looking at how a girl interacts with the men in her life, as an indication of how she will treat her husband in the future. And what guy wants to be treated like the immature child he is not?

Now, the sad fact is that there are many guys out there who don't hit the mark. (to put it kindly.) A lot of women have to deal with men who live like slobs, talk hurtfully, lack ambition of any sort, and are only interested in the latest movie. (Or car. Or football game. Or party.) Yet... I can guarantee you that there is one thing - no, make that many things - that you can find about your man that are truly worth celebrating. Look on the bright side. Focus on his successes. Support him in what he's doing right. He will love you for it, and he will grow.

How do you respect the men in your life?